How To Restore Broken Relationships
Relationships are at the core of what it means to be human. Nobody wants to live life alone, nobody wants to live life without warm, loving relationships. Where do we get this strong desire for relationships? We get it from God. We were created in God’s image and God Himself consists of a relationship between the three persons of the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. So God created us to have a loving relationship with Himself and to have loving relationships with other people. Whether you’re a believer or not, every human being has the innate desire to have those two basic relationships with God and with people. Today I’m going to focus on our relationships with other people, but your relationship with God is actually the most important.
Last week we talked about Growing Together In A Life Group, building relationships with new people. Each of us needs to learn to build the relationships in our lives that God has blessed us with. NLT Philippians 2:1-2 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose. There you have God’s will for the family of God, we should agree wholeheartedly with each other, we should love one another and we should work together with one heart and purpose. Those three things are also God’s will for your family, agreeing with one another, loving one another and working together with one purpose.
Yet sometimes things go wrong and relationships that were once warm and close become cold and distant. Relationships that were once loving become broken. What should you do when a relationship becomes broken? Should you just give up on it? Look elsewhere for a new one? I believe that relationships are worth salvaging, so today I’m going to talk about How To Restore Broken Relationships. Those who restore broken relationships are peacemakers because broken relationships lead to conflict arguments and fights.
NLT Matthew 5:9 God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. The blessing of God is upon those who work for peace the blessing of God is on those who restore broken relationships. They will be called the children of God. Why? Because peacemakers are acting like their heavenly Father who made peace with us through the death of Jesus. So now lets see what God’s Word teaches about how to restore broken relationships in your life.
Think about the relationships in your life. Some may be going good, but there may be others that are strained or completely broken. Keep the one in mind that is the biggest problem in your life right now as we look at God’s Word.
To hear more about this topic, listen to my June 11, 2006 message entitled How To Restore Broken Relationships via
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Related posts:
- Meaningful Relationships
- The Importance of Unity
- Restoring Damaged Relationships
- Why Relationships Are Important
- Growing Together In A Life Group
I am going through a broken relationship.I have studied the peacemaker series, sought counseling, prayed, and read a book by John Ortberg. Everyone tells me to let go and move on. I have a huge problem with just settling with no communication and no resolution. I am still hurt and reminded just how wrong I have handled the situation by placing alot of blame on him and trying to pressure him to go to counseling. I treasure him but more importantly I need to treasure God and start over with prayer. This has gone horrible for some time now. Your message has helped to remind me of the need to be faithful with seeking God, praying, and looking for the right time to approach him again. He doesn’t like conflict and he is just as miserable as I am.
I have tried everything. Even prayer. Nothing is working. I’ve done as the Bible said and tried to reconcile and make peace with the person whom I have hurt. She wouldn’t forgive me, or reconcile with me in any way. I am still hurt and depressed, and just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know even know whether or not it is wrong to try to approach her again. Like the above poster says, everyone keeps telling me that too… to let it go to move on. But this just doesn’t feel right to me. NO RESOLUTION? Should I settle for that? To be miserable for the rest of my life without some sort of resolution? Again, like the poster above, I am still hurt… I don’t know how to handle my pain, or deal with this situation effectively. I tried to apologize, but it didn’t do any good. So now I am just miserable and depressed. I wasn’t slothful at first, I tried to talk to her. But she wouldn’t listen, so I just gave up. But even giving up doesn’t feel right. And even going back to apologize now that she doesn’t want me around doesn’t feel right, either. Moving on, also doesn’t feel right. I feel like I’m boxed in, with no escape.
It takes two to reconcile. As a believer, your responsbility is to forgive and attempt to restore the relationship. This is not always possible.
NIV Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Note that in this passage, we are instructed to live at peace, “as far as it depends on you.” If the reconciliation is not possible at this time, then leave room for God to act by placing the relationship in His hands and going on with life.
God has a plan for your life and no broken relationship or person who refuses to forgive can thwart that plan. When you have done what is right, move on in God’s plan for your life.
I have a situation where, I did not hurt someone, but I did approach them with what was on my mind. By voicing it to them, it helped free me, but it wounded the relationship and now we are walking on egg shells. It is slowly healing, but I can no longer speak freely to this person. And we used to sit for hours and talk. I enjoy being around this person. I wish now that I would of never said anything. The Lord is healing the relationship, but it not the same. I’m so confused, that I don’t know where to turn from here, except to GOD, to sit still and let him heal the relationship.
And I know not to be double minded…but at time…I am so confused. I want back the old relationship.
Needing help…
I tried to restore my relationship with my husband on my own, unfortunately things got worse. I had an affair and this made things even worse. I came to the cross road in my life with a broken heart. It became so painful that I rededicated my life to the Lord. I realized that the only hope for me was to seek God.Jesus became my counselor and comforter. Music was therapy for me. I put my trust in God and believed the situation would become better.One day I presented my husband with a relationship analysis sheet. My relationship with my husband received the lowest score. At this point in our lives we were also going through a financial crisis and this made matters worst.Through it all I learned to depend on God’s Word. Every relationship is worth restoring. Lay your troubles at the foot of Jesus because he promised that he will never leave us or forsake us. God is real and very powerful. Always remember God is in Control. When you troubled communicate with the higher power. Prayer until something happens. I prayer and my husband also prayer. We waited and I am happy to say that we are together and continue to prayer daily. God Is Love.
Victorious in Jesus
Reading your posts have also brough tears to my eyes, as I have been there. God is all about restoration, that is why he sent his son, to restore the broken relationship between himself and us. Sometimes God needs to show us certain things in life, and may need to deal with us in certain areas. I encourage you to continue in prayer and be steadfast. Use this time to ask God to heal your wounds, and reach out to your support group of close friends, and famiy members that can provide you with the support that you need. I have been there, where you are, but through much prayer and trusting in God, my partner and i are in a better place. It was nobody but God, to do it! Also, remember that YOU alone can change a relationship, by changing yourself. Some great books that have helped me include writings by Henry Cloud and Towsend, there is a website where they have written on different relational issues. Also, find some relationship books-Gary Chapman is also very good.
Much Love and continue to Trust God, he will never give us more than we can handle.
Love You All!
Thank you for this segment. It is like eating a piece of bread or even like a sip of water. When our relationships are broken, so are we and really don’t have the strength we need to be able to eat properly, which is why for me, it is like a piece of bread or a sip of water; enough to give me some strength and spiritual nutrients that I can swallow at this time in my life concerning my relationships. I will continue to listen and purpose to apply what I have heard according to the Word of God.
Again,
Thank you.
I have been having a hard time with an ex, not married but it still hurts the same. I have tried so many things and i also pray about the situation but it seems things just get worse and worse. I just recently found out from him that he is seeing someone else. He didnt really want to tell me but he did and i have been hurt ever since. I do want him back because i saw a future with him, with God first. Thats what i have always wanted. But it seems things just get worse and worse by the day. I pray and try to have faith but it is sooooo hard to do when everyone around you tells you to just forget it and move on. I really need help with this situation……
The most important relationship in your life is your relationship with God. At a time like this, work on building that relationship first. I really don’t know enough details of the relationship to be sure about what advice to give you. I would say that you need to be open to the possibility that this relationship is not in God’s will for you. So many times these days, we see couples living together without being married. This is wrong, according to the Bible, whether the couple feels they are in love or not. The physical intimacy then creates a one flesh bond that creates great pain when it is broken. God designed the one flesh bond of physical intimacy to be only for marriage and to only be broken by death. If this was the situation with your relationship, repentance is in order and asking God to bring healing. If this was not the case, you really must seek for God’s plan for your life moving forward and leave this relationship in His hands. If it is of him, He will bring it back. If it is not of Him, He will lead you to new things.
I have recently been broken up from a relationship with the one whom i truely loved. and i still do till this very day. I worship the lord, pray to god everyday till one day we could be back together once again.
She left me dew to being impatient and not waiting long enough for us to be married. How i know she is the one, God himself introduce me to her back in high school. we had a 4 year relationship together even after high school graduation. we split up eight years later i’m back with her again for a about 2 months and than things whent wrong. I really blame myself for this relationship to be completely broken. God gave me a second chance and i messed this all up.
So i pray till one day she comes back into my life.
Please pray for me…Any advice is very much appreciated as well.
Father God,
I am asking and believing you to please restore my relationship with my fiance. We are to be married later this year. We had an argument and I may have said too much. I have apologized and will trust God with this issue in the future. Please remove any and all hindrances and obstacles that attempt to stand in the way of our reconciliation. I cancel every plan the enemy has laid for us, in the name of Jesus.
I need God to please give me another chance with this man whom I love. He has withdrawn from me. I pray God will open his heart to love me again and that we will be blessed to be together. God, you will always be my first love. I will be sure to keep you first so that no one can take your place. We both love you Lord and always will.
I believe that you brought this man into my life to love me and cover me. I pray that you will repair, restore and reunite us. Lord you can do anything. Please give me favor with my fiance and grant me another chance to get it right. Father, you know why I need you to do this for me this time. Please show me a token of your goodness/love for me. Turn it around God. Please turn the circumstances around. I will be a good wife and trust you to help me keep him covered and loved. In the name of Jesus…Amen.
Annette, if only you could come back and let us know how things are going ?
Annette,
Such a wonderful prayer. Bring tears to my eyes. I really hope and pray that your all wishes comes true. I am going through similar kina pain. Wish me luck too.
God bless
what if you are the only one who wants the relationship to work? my boyfriend broke up with me and does not want to work with me towards fixing the situation
It takes two people working together to restore a relationship. The Bible tells us to be at peace with all men, as far as it depends on you. So, if the other person does not want to work on restoring the relationship, there are several things to consider. First of all, it could be that the restoration will take time and eventually your friend will change their mind. Secondly, it could be that the relationship is not God’s will and it will never be restored. Finally, it could be that the relationship is to be restored but at a lower level, for example, just friends, rather than a romantic relationship. Pray and seek God’s will on the matter, not just what you want, and He will make it clear to you what direction to go.
Thank you so much for your message and postings. They are helping me so much during this difficult period. I was in a relationship and the other person simply decided to walk away. No explanation or reason why was given. They have not communicated with me since. I was completely devastated. I have been hurt before but never has it felt so bad. I have asked God to heal my broken heart so that I can feel whole again. I am trying to be strong but it is so hard. I am surrounding myself in prayer. I also continue to pray for me ex. I have turned this over to God and I am asking that his will be done. Please say a special prayer for me. I am trying so hard to be strong but I feel so lost and all alone……
Please pray for me and for this miracle and blessing. It gets harder to keep my faith up in this situation, but I cannot let Satan bring down my faith!
I pray that me and my ex boyfriend will be back together. It’s been over 2 months since the breakup date (April 6th 2010) and my feelings for him still and will never go away. God put us together for a reason. And I pray and know that God can and will get back together. I had dreams that we got married and had a family together and stayed together forever more. Me and him (ex) even talked about marriage and our future while we were together. I want that future. Those dreams to become reality. I don’t want it any other way. I thank God for the blessings I already have. Just this one extra blessing I’m asking for, and Glory shall fill my life. For my relationship with my ex shall and will and already has happened in the Name of Jesus. Amen.
One thing I have learned is that God will not restore every broken relationship you have no matter how hard you pray or have faith.
My ex and I were together for just a little over two years when she broke up with me. At that time I became a prayer warrior and trusted that He would restore us. It never hapened.
Today she is now married and has a child with another man.
I wish the best to all of you who are hoping that God will restore yours. And I will stand in faith with you.
Hi my name is shameka ive been going through soo much well not anything major me and my x boyfrined keep breaking up and i turn to voodoo which my family is real spritual and belive n god but i do as wellm. i ask giod to forgive me and im asking him to help me out w my decision n life and my relationships. i just dont want to talk to the wrong ppl. thank u may god bless
Thank You for this message fm God. I’ll do all my best to became a peacemaker. I’m restoring a relationship right now, I’ve already tried to live several days in faith and not in seeing and it really helps. I gave this relationship in Gods hands, because he’s the only help and answere to everything.